Local Faces: Rose Curtin

WINNING the 2022 Netwatch Dublin Family Carer of the Year was slightly mortifying for Rose Curtin – a Clondalkin mother who goes above and beyond for her family, and a woman who has no concept of what a normal weekend means.

Rose has three kids, including her eldest Daniel (30), who has autism, moderate learning disabilities, intractable epilepsy and very challenging behaviour, and requires daily personal care with basic things like showering, dressing, and medication.

However, Rose was also the primary carer for her husband Robbie for 11 years at home.

Robbie was diagnosed with Leukemia at 40, and when his condition gradually worsened, it became impossible to care fulltime for two people at the same time, leading to Rose making the “hardest decision of my life” by having him cared for in a nursing home.

Speaking about Robbie’s diagnosis, Rose says her children Daniel, Niamh and Gavin, were very young at this time (11, 9 and 3) and it was “a huge challenge to be between the family home and the hospital at this time, especially with Daniel’s needs”.

“Robbie required a transplant and went downhill mentally from here. I needed to be by his side 24/7.

“Robbie could not continue to work and being the only earner in the home we faced financial strain as a family,” said Rose.

“Half a year later Robbie had his first TIA (mini stroke) and unfortunately had many more after this.

“There were huge changes to Robbie’s behaviour.

“He became very forgetful, aggressive, lost any sense of empathy and refused to leave the house.

“I could not leave the children alone with him.

“I became Robbie’s full-time carer in our home along with caring for Daniel.

“Having always made decisions together, it was very difficult for me to have to take on the full responsibility of all big decisions considering Robbie was not capable.

“After some time, Robbie was diagnosed with front lobal dementia.

“As the years went on, the home environment got more and more strenuous, and my children were suffering.

“After caring for Robbie for 11 years at home, I had to make the hardest decision of my life by having him cared for in a nursing home.

“My children needed a safer and happier home environment and Daniel’s care was becoming more demanding.

“When Robbie moved in initially, he would not let any staff care for him.

“I went into him daily to shower him and to make sure he ate something.

“He seems a lot more settled nowadays which is great, but the guilt still eats away at me.”

While things are more settled now, and Rose visits Robbie everyday, the life of a primary carer is full-on, and even meeting her sister for a coffee is “such a treat”.

Daniel has attended Stewarts services since he was three years old but daily life has to be suited around his routine.

“This was quite challenging when my other children were young, when I would bring them to sports, parties etc,” said Rose.

“Leaving the house always took so much energy and pre-planning.

“Even now, leaving the house is still a challenge for Daniel, and I have to admit, sometimes I can feel quite alienated from the outside world.

“To meet my sister for a coffee is such a treat! I remember when Daniel was a child and he would have several meltdowns in public, and people would stare or even worse pass comments on his ‘bad behaviour’.

“Things which would be enjoyable for another family such as holidays, Christmas, celebrations etc, would be very stressful for Daniel and can result in episodes of lashing out.

“Over the years I have put a lot of effort into Daniel’s social life bringing him to various clubs and while it always took Daniel time to adjust, perseverance has gained him some great friends.

“I am very grateful to have great neighbours, friends and family who have supported us.”

Rose’s kids Niamh (27) and Gavin (20) have crucial roles in the family, having taken on a huge responsibility as very young children to look after their Dad and brother.

“They continue to do so today and sacrificed so much when they were growing up.

“I’m so proud of how they worked so hard at their education and sports throughout,” said Rose.

Rose’s resilience reflects her upbringing having grown up in a family of 12 in Maryland, Dublin 8, with “Mam and Dad, my six brothers and three sisters in a three-bedroom house”.

She went to school in Basin Lane and later worked in the school as the school secretary.

Rose met Robbie who was a baker at the time, in Flamingo’s night club in 1987, when she was 23.

The couple got married in 1991 in St Theresa’s Church in Donore Avenue and moved to Clondalkin later that year.

Family life is very different today than it was over 30 years ago, and Rose concedes there is “no such thing as a weekend”.

“For the past while Daniel has not been attending day services full-time due to changes in his behaviour, but he is progressing.

“If Daniel goes into day services, I go visit Robbie and try get some weekly tasks such as the food shop, bank, chemist etc, done as I cannot bring Daniel to those places.

“Daniel loves public transport, and on the weekends, I take him out on the train or bus,” she said.

Winning the 2022 Netwatch Dublin Family Carer of the Year last November certainly gave Rose a lift.

“It was lovely to get the recognition even though it’s just the norm for me.

“I’m not used to being the centre of attention, so I was a bit mortified by the all the fuss!

“I was so surprised to hear how many people had nominated me and to have people who I don’t know offer their congratulations.

“I wish all family carers would get the recognition they deserve.”

Despite all the challenges, Rose looks ahead with a sense of purpose and optimism for the family’s future.

“I would love my family to have a sense of stability and security in the future and to be happy in fulfilling their own interests and talents.

“I hope the strength amongst our family remains and that we continue to look out for one another,” said Rose