‘Dads on a Mission’ helps fathers of children with additional needs

A NEW support group for the fathers of children with additional needs has already been having a positive impact on participants, as they said it curbs the isolation they often feel.

The group is called Dads on a Mission and they meet up every Wednesday in the Firhouse Community and Leisure Centre.

The group was set up with the help of Katherine McKenna from the Rays of Sunshine pre-school for children with autism, as she noticed a need for a support group tailored to dads.

“Dads might not have many other friends with kids with additional needs or places to go to,” Katherine told The Echo.

“So they’ve set up a support group for dads who are caring for children with additional needs.

“They were saying it can be a lonely journey for them, because their friends don’t get it and they can feel isolated.”

The group allows fathers to talk about some of the barriers their children face, share tips and advice, and have conversations with other fathers who understand what it’s like to raise a child with additional needs, while also providing a welcoming social outlet.

Alan Byrne from Firhouse said that being the primary carer for his four-year-old son, who has an autism diagnosis and is pre-verbal, means he can sometimes feel isolated.

“It was only after a while when I realised that I didn’t really speak to other men, it was usually other mothers,” Alan said.

“And because you’re dealing with a pre-verbal or non-verbal child, you’re not really talking to anyone during the day.”

He added: “When I went to the first [Dads on a Mission] meeting, we went around and immediately, as soon as we got there, people opened up instantly.

“You’re realising what other people are going through, and it’s a comfort, because you’re talking to people who do understand.”

One of the other fathers who understands what Alan is going through is Richie O’Neill from Glenshane, whose 11-year-old son is non-verbal, and has autism and an intellectual disability.

“I had gone to other groups and it was mainly women, and it was a bit awkward,” Richie explained.

“The first meeting of Dads on a Mission was very good, we didn’t hold back in that environment.

“We all hit it off straight away, and we’re all different fathers with different kids at different ages.

“The group means I can talk to someone who has a child with the same condition as my child, and it helps you to build a new network which you have to have when you have a child with special needs.”

TJ Quirke, from Firhouse, whose three children aged seven, eight and nine are on the autism spectrum, said Dads on a Mission provides him and the other fathers with an outlet to talk.

“The first meeting I went to, it was great,” he said. “It was nice to just open up and talk to fathers who have kids with special needs.

“We all told different stories and you’d be in tears hearing some of them. But it’s a great thing.

“The group is an outlet, it’s a place where you can go and verbalise, rather than bottling things up – and all men do that.”

Dads on a Mission is a welcoming group for fathers of children with additional needs, and TJ said any dads who are unsure about attending a meeting should take the plunge.

“I’d tell them to be honest, to talk to the other fathers that are going through the same thing,” he said.

“A lot of people will sit back and stay quiet, and they might be a bit afraid to speak up, but they shouldn’t be. Open your mouth and say how you feel.”

The social aspect of Dads on a Mission was praised by all the dads that The Echo spoke to, which includes a planned walk up the Sugar Loaf on Sunday, August 27.

Any fathers who have children with additional needs are welcome to join the group. It meets every Wednesday evening in the Firhouse Community and Leisure Centre at 7.30pm.