Robert’s wish was to spend final days at home
By Aimee Walsh
WHEN local woman Tracey Kinsella’s father Robert was diagnosed with cancer for the second time, his dying wish was to spend his final days at home surrounded by his loved ones.
Tracey’s father Robert, 80, was diagnosed in October 2018 with oesophageal cancer. After going through 25-30 rounds of radiation and six sessions of chemotherapy, the family were given the good news that he was in remission just after Christmas.
Adam Dolan Tracey Kinsella, Angela Kinsella with photo of the late Robert Kinsella, ICS Night Nurse Annemarie Ward and Aaron Dolan
“He was then getting checked- three months he had the all clear, six months he had the all clear and August 2019 he had a scope done and everything came up all clear, which we were delighted about.
“Then around November 2019 he got a very bad pain in his side out of the blue and he went to the doctor and they said it may be kidney stones.”
Tracey, from Walkinstown, explains that her dad Robert went on to be treated for kidney stones, until a pet scan revealed that the cancer had returned on his kidneys.
“He was in hospital for a little over a week and they had to put a stint in his kidneys, and they found that secondary cancer had come back, they found a couple of spots on his kidneys. Cancer just creeps back, you are never quite sure when it’s gone.
“To be honest, it was a shock really because he had been ok as in his mood and his humour and his way, he seemed ok. We noticed he was getting very thin, and he was struggling to eat. So, when they told him in James’ that it was back, it was a big shock.
“I think it was more of a shock than the first time because after doing all that treatment you would hope that you would get a longer bit of time before it comes back but unfortunately, he didn’t get that much time.
“It was very quick and very disheartening to think that it was back, you think, how did it come back so soon?” Tracey explains.
In April 2020, Robert returned to hospital with the view of getting a feeding tube in, as his weight had dropped significantly and he was not eating.
“We had only started the full lockdown at the end of March last year and we had to leave him into the hospital in early April last year and that was really difficult because we left him at the door and we couldn’t go in at that stage.
“When he was in there, he was on some morphine and when we were trying to speak to him then he was hallucinating and kind of distraught and he is not a man who likes to be on his own, so he found it frightening to be in there and nobody being able to come in and out.
“As a family, between us and the hospital staff because of Covid we decided maybe it isn’t a good time to get the feeding tube in, and if it didn’t work he would be back in again so we decided to take him home.”
Tracey and her family decided to care for Robert with the help of the community care from Old County Road in Crumlin and the palliative care team from the hospice.
“Only for community care from Old County and palliative care from the hospice you wouldn’t have done it because they looked after you during the day, they’d come out and then the scary time came at night when you were frightened at night because night-time can be quite a long time and when you have someone dying you hope nothing happens to them during the night.
“The fear from me, my sister and my mam was that if anything happened to him and he had to go back into hospital, and we couldn’t be with him for the end of life and his wish was to pass at home. He didn’t want to go back into hospital, he wanted to stay in his own bed and he wanted to have his family surrounding him.”
Tracey and her family received the support of the night nursing service for the final days of Robert’s life from The Irish Cancer Society, who she describes as a “god-send”.
“They gave us support and reassurance. They come in and say, ‘you go off now and get something to eat and if you want to sleep’, but you do not sleep properly during those weeks.
“You could not do it without them, you just couldn’t. It’s like a guardian angel comes into your house and for those few hours you just think, I’ll be ok.”
Robert’s final wish was to pass at his home, where he had lived all his life, surrounded by those he loved the most.
“I suppose when you are doing end of life at home in your head you think of films and you think this is going to be scary and I suppose that’s the thing that people need to know- it’s not what you see on tv.
“It is very peaceful and it’s a hard thing to experience but it’s a lovely thing as well. I am glad it was at home and I’m glad it was so peaceful for him and I’m glad he wasn’t on his own.
“The night nurse service and the other services facilitated that. People move houses and move around but he had spent all his life here, so for him to see the end of his life in his home was really amazing.”
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